Quiet Revolution
By Monica Bielanko
In the spirit of Cain’s Quiet
Revolution, I decided to do my next TOW on a Quiet Revolutionary’s writing. Monica Bielanko’s article, an account of one
of the simplest, but also one of the most terrifying, acts of daily life for an
introvert, is one that stood out to me the most. Hilarious story aside, Bielanko articulates a
feeling that I originally thought only I felt, but Bielanko reveals that this
feeling is actually shared by millions of introverts, and non-introverts,
across the world. Through several short
and humorous narrations of past experiences, Bielanko uses inductive reasoning
in order to humbly impart advice for dealing with an overwhelming anxiety to
please people.
The first eight words perfectly
capture my own anxieties when ordering at restaurants. Bielanko honestly and out rightly confesses: “I
am terrified of failing the Chipotle guy” (1).
Personally, I have never confessed my absolute need to please everyone,
since the typical response would be, “Why do you care what other’s think? -- You’re
too sensitive…” But Bielanko follows up with her rational for caring about
botching a Chipotle order: “My brain will replay my perceived humiliation on an
endless loop until I am certain I can never return to the establishment where
the scene of my crime occurred” (7), clarifying what I could never put into
words.
Besides Chipotle, Bielanko shares an
anecdote about going through a McDonald’s drive-through with her mother. When she once received a meagerly filled box
of fries, her mother demanded more fries, which caused Bielanko “to stare
intensely at the ground while attempting to harness any ESP powers I might have
had within my being so that I could mentally telepath an apology to the person
my mother was giving her piece of mind to… mostly saying ohgodsorrysorrysorrygodohgodsorry over and over again in my mind” (12). Another
instance happened at a restaurant, when she ordered shrimp and got scallops, and
rather than telling the waiter her order had been mixed up and ruining the
night with “debilitating anxiety over his certain annoyance” (13), Bielanko at
the scallops. At a Starbucks once,
Bielanko asked the server to repeat her question, resulting in Bielanko
thinking “It’s ruined. My coffee is ruined. I hate everything. I want to go
home” (22).
Bielanko ends full circle, returning
to ordering at Chipotle, coming to the realization that most of her reactions
internally were overreactions, and physically underreactions. Instead of allowing our amygdalae to
overwhelm our brains with anxiety, we can train our prefrontal cortexes to calm
those traumatizing anticipations and focus on what may actually happen.
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